Relationships

Amongst the many romantic comedy movies that typically end with a happy ending, movies like The Breakup stick out like a sore thumb. For those who have not seen this movie and are hoping for the couple to get back together, you can stop hoping now for they do not. I find it refreshing that the movie does not have a predictable ending however, it kind of took the spark out of the movie. With a title such as The Breakup, it is exactly what happens to the couple and it stays that way. I was hoping for a twist in the ending which would mean that the couple would get back together and would leave me even more unsatisfied. I then concluded that I cannot please myself with my choice of movie.

The movie brought to mind The Knapp Model of Relational Developement. The couple in the movie more or less went through the five stages before they finally decided to terminate their relationship. What was amusing though, was how they were so adamant not to give up and make the other party frustrated and jealous and whilst in the process of doing so, they realised how much they loved each other but also how unfit they were for each other.

The most obvious stage was when they have finally reached stagnation. The couple were so used to the ebb and flow of each other around the house that they know exactly what to do to make the other lose their mind. They also went through the stage of avoiding talk that they were not comfortable with where they said what they needed to say to please the other party.

While this movie does not truly show what happens in a usual deterioration of a relationship, it offers a peek into how a good relationship$ fails slowly eventhough it does not exactly follow the Knapp model. The movie, unlike most other, shows the downside of what happens after a couple gets together. It is a side that other movies rarely show.

"Happy endings are just unfinished stories"

The movie also shows the tender side of a breakup. A person, despite all the feelings of and emotions that come with the deterioration of a relationship, still feels for the other party as a relationship and feelings do not just end abruptly. The Knapp model shows the cruel and cold realities of a failing relationship but the movie shows another more human side of it. What is most interesting is that the movie also highlights the fact that we tend to defend the other party more and boast of thier achievements more when we are in the process of a breakup. Perhaps to justify our reason for staying with the other party for so long or as pity for the other person? The couple also become more sensitive to each other (with thier tricks, words and actions - be it good or bad) while breaking up.

All in all, I feel that the movie is highly entertaining and insightful. Although the ending is far from the ideal of what people would expect from a movie, it represents the most realistic all situation and circumstances after all that the couple have found out about each other in the process of their breakup. In my opinion, a breakup allows you to learn more about yourself and lets you have a clearer picture of what you are looking for. In the case of the movie, they know what they are looking for and they also learn more about each other. Not a bad breakup I must admit. What do you think? Is a breakup really that cruel and hurting?

Non-verbal communication

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhU5QZPdZ70

Video Info: Learn how to flirt with body language signals and how to read body language in this free video on body language communication skills.
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Take a few minutes off and have a look at the video. Youtube has endless videos like the one mentioned and it offers insights and ways to lure the opposite sex into your awaiting arms.

The video shows or rather explains to the clueless how to flirt and interpret a person touches and other body languages. I have to admit, the video does give new insights and is very informative to say the least.

Body language has always been an interesting, albeit confusing, concept to me. It lays the groundwork for all the mixed messages that men get from women and vice versa. The guy who does not move away when his knee touches yours, the stranger who holds your gaze for a little bit too long and the girl who looks at you over her shoulder, smiling just a little. He/she is probably attracted to you.

Or so you think. Are you sure?

Psychologists have constantly studied the way a person acts in response to another. If a person's feet is pointing in your direction, he/she is interested in you. If she is fiddling with her hair or watch, she is interested. The list is endless. However, real life is never that simple or easy. She might just be nervous or the person's feet is pointing in your direction because he/she is sitting in front of you. Life is hardly ever perfect and with simple answers.

Reading body language alone can lead to miscommunication. One of the easiest example is, of course, mixed messages that a person gets from the opposite sex. What could be seen as plain friendly to a girl may seem suggestive to the opposite sex.

While blog-hopping once, I came across a complain from a blogger that a girl mistook his touch as suggestive. As the two of them (the girl and the blogger) were at a club, the blogger put his hand on her back while she shouted her words in his ear. An action as such would probably be dismissed as "a natural reaction" in Western societies. In Asia, it is interpreted as a sort of advancement. I too, admit that if that were to happen to me I would wonder if the person is showing interest or is just being a "gentleman(?)" (for lack of a better word to describe an action as such). So where does one differenciate the fine line between flirtation and just a simple touch?

On a whole different agenda, talking online lacks the guessing game of body language. One cannot see the other person's reactions, facial expression, gestures and where his/her feet are pointing. It should also be noted that communication happens mostly through body language. The things that are not said is more audible then the things that are.

The guessing game of body language has become a science in today's world. Obviously, there is no way one read a person just by non-verbal communication. The two modes of communication work hand in hand. Face to face communication without body language and gestures lacks intimacy and chemistry. It is no wonder that two people can long for each other even when they call everyday or meet online everyday.

I believe that everyone should study the basics of this concept as it can be used to their advantage be it to deceive or to cover up frayed nerves. If you walk and look confident, you feel confident too and thus, learning about body language allows you to emulate the vibe that you want to give off to others and at the same time possibly give you the inner boost that you need.

However confusing body language is and how many mixed messages one gets in a lifetime, the thrill of trying to interpret body language is exhilarating (when dating) and gives one a certain buzz. I say heck it, take the plunge and miscommunicate through body language!

The Infamous iPhone

Hello, iPhone. Yourself?


The infamous iPhone was on the tips of every Mac evangelists's lips even before it hit the stores. Its boasts a touch screen, internet access, and other functions that would not probably be of much use in the long run.

Personally, I am not much of a Apple fan. Their way of marketing angers me in that they tend to come up with the exact same product but in different shapes, sizes and colours. It puts all other brands that put in so much effort in their products to shame as even with their lazy way of churning out "new" geek baubles, they still manage to generate impressive sales.

However, I do find their computer software superior to Windows but I am not one to talk as I know naught about it.


Definitely, the appeal of the iPhone would be it's sleek design and touch screen functions. But then again, don't many other products have that function anyway? So what is the big deal?

Not too long ago I also watched the iPhone advertisement on the television. It claims the functions available in the phone all works superbly fast. I question that though, as don't all phones work equally fast? How does one compare speed when in this technologically diverse era, information is dispensed in a few seconds? Thus, what does a second faster or later make? It seems to me that all people want nowadays is speed. They want things done now, today... No! Yesterday!

Some eager beavers were also so excited about the iPhone that they placed first dibs on the phone. Excited to show off their new gadgets, these people knew that if they were to order the phone online, the phone is not under the responsibility of any mobile company in Singapore. It was equivalent to being a stuntman without insurance.

However, through comments made by people who owned or are bitter for not owning the iPhone, I got to know that the functions in the phone were merely basic functions one can find in any phone. More infuriating is that not too long after the first iPhone was introduced, another similar phone was introduced, this time boasting of one more measly addition to it's functions.

I feel that the advertisement for the iPhone has done wonders for the product as even with it's price tag and lack lustre functions, people are still clamouring after it. As for me, I just like locking and unlocking the phone.

1st posting

Article from: http://www.todayonline.com/articles/274410.asp
Source: todayonline.com
Dated: 3rd September 2008

Article: When being tolerant means keeping quiet
Author: Alicia Wong

WHILE young people in Singapore are remarkably tolerant about religion, this is often based on ignorance and fear, a newly-published survey indicates.

The findings are set out in a study on the religious attitudes of 2,779 secondary school students. More than three-out-of-four of the students stressed that it was important to be tolerant of other religions. But they defined this as “not talking about it”, rather than respecting or understanding another person’s religion.

Associate Professor Phyllis Chew from the National Institute of Education, who headed the study — based on fieldwork carried out in 2004 — said: “I think they have not thought deeply about what is tolerance. They do know that religion is very sensitive in Singapore, so they don’t talk about it. If they want to find out about religion, most of them will do it through the Internet.”

There was also a lot of stereotyping, she said. For instance, students saw Buddhism as a peaceful religion while Christians were seen as always “collecting money”.

Assoc Prof Chew was speaking at a forum yesterday where academics gathered to share views on religious issues in Singapore.

Visiting fellow at the National University of Singapore (NUS), Dr Matthew Matthews, presented his findings on how Roman Catholic and Protestant clergy interacted with people of other faiths.

While efforts have been made to promote inter-religious dialogue, 30 per cent of clergymen were afraid such dialogue might compromise religious convictions, although most agreed that dialogue could help.

And when it comes to inter-religion collaboration, clergymen were divided on accepting donations from other religious bodies as it could put them in a position of obligation. Some clergy also found difficulty in collaborating with non-Christian religious leaders.

Dr Matthews suggested that inter-religious dialogue should focus on pragmatic issues where different religions have common concerns — such as gambling, or homosexuality.

On the impact of traditional Islamic discourses, Dr Noor Aisha Abdul Rahman from NUS said that while the Muslim community discussed issues such as gambling and organ donation, the discussions were often of an abstract theological nature. “They are reduced to the level of dos and don’ts,” she said.

In the past three decades there has been a focus on the problems of secularism and how contemporary society does not match up to past Islamic systems and laws, said Dr Noor Aisha, so while the discourse is non-political, it prevents real engagement with today’s society.

The forum was organised by the Institute of Policy Studies, whose book “Religious Diversity in Singapore” was published yesterday.





Evaluation: Are Singaporeans truly tolerant of other races?
Singapore often boasts of it's multi-racial society and it's tolerance of the many races that reside in the country. However, how much of that is true and is actually in fact that its people are more afraid of the things that could happen to them if they do not practice patience and tolerance of another race?

We may not admit it but we all have our own complains about another race. It is only human nature to feel so and gossip about another race. Situations, however, have risen to a whole new level with people being so politically correct so that they remain neutral under any circumstance. Either that, or they choose not to say a thing thinking that if they do not have anything nice to say, then it is better not to say it at all.


Critic: Above all, fear is the over-riding reason.
There have been many cases of strict action being taken to those who have shown blatant religious or racial insensitivity. One of the most popularized being that of the blog that was shut and the author being sued due to his comments about the malay society in Singapore. This is only one sensationalized case. There are several blogs out there that critise the many races in Singapore and many of these go unnoticed.

Most Singaporeans tend to keep mums about cases like these as they do not want to be involved in the amount of paperwork and other things that come along with complains such as the aforementioned. Also with blogs, the authors tend to be anonymous which adds as a bonus.

Even when the races are discussed face to face, Singaporeans tend to adopt a "what is said here, ends here" attitude to the whole situation so as not to create problems for themselves. Thus, it is true that Singaporeans view tolerance as keeping quiet but they are not faultless and they definitely do talk, be it good or bad, about the other races. As such, it is not a shock to find out that there are general misguided thoughts or stereotypes of every race.

Nevertheless, one does come across the occasional Singaporean who knows the basic foundations of a certain race and it brings hope to others that there is a good in living in a country with an abundance of racially and culturally diverse people.

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